


Death and Ascension

by tina_v



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Consensual Underage Sex, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Underage - Freeform, peter def needs a hug, peter is 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 23:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17089655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tina_v/pseuds/tina_v
Summary: Why do you always do this? he thought to himself. Hurting people when the only thing you truly want is to protect them?“It’s for the best…”





	Death and Ascension

**Author's Note:**

> So basically an angsty scene that was supposed to be a part of my other starker fanfic That Pretty Little Liar but it didn't quite fit in the story so...
> 
> Please read the warnings!  
> There's an implied consensual underage sexual relationship so that's why I added the tag.

The sound of the rain crashing against the glass and the roof of the car were the only thing Peter could hear. They had been quiet for so long he had started to notice slight differences in the noise. The sound of the water hitting the metallic surface had more of a ring to it, whereas the drops against the glass were more like short thuds.

When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse.

“How could you do this to me?” it was barely a whisper, but he knew Tony had heard him.

He could feel his throat dry and sore, burning with the tension of holding back the tears. He had asked the question but couldn’t find the strength to look up from his lap and face the man at his left.

“I- Peter, I…” Tony’s voice broke mid-sentence so he cleared his throat. “I never meant to hurt you. If I had known…”

Peter’s head snapped up, feeling the anger spread through his body like a wildfire.

“Known  _what_? That you didn’t love me anymore?” He could feel the first tear sliding down his cheek, leaving a hot trail on his skin. “How does that happen, exactly? You just woke up one day and it was  _gone_?”

Tony sighed, his hands still on the steering wheel and eyes still forward.

“It’s not like that, Peter.”

“Well then what is it like,  _Tony_? Please, do enlighten me” he let the words roll off his tongue slowly, making sure he coated every single one of them with thick sarcasm.

He watched him tilt his head back slightly, his eyes darting at the ceiling. Oh! so he was exasperated. Well, boo-fucking-hoo. He could hardly feel any sort of pity for the man at the moment. Actually, he could hardly feel anything at all other than anger, rage and shame.

“You knew it was never going to be anything more than what it was… Well,  _I_ _thought_  you knew.” He turned his head slightly to look outside the window. Peter wished he could see some guilt in his expression. Or pain. Sorrow. Doubt.  _Something_.

But he was just… blank. Like a white piece of paper or a book with no pages in it. There was nothing to be read in his face because there was no feeling behind it. Peter realized this was just a formality. A very polite, very official ‘I’m done with you, fuck off’.

“Did you ever feel-“ Peter had to take a deep breath before he continued. He was terrified to ask, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t. “Did you ever love me?”

He saw Tony’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. There was a moment of silence in the car that to Peter felt eternal. The rain, the smell of the leather seats, the scent of Tony’s cologne, the hot tears against the cold skin of his cheek… all of it froze.

“…I’ve always cared about you.”

 _Bullshit._  He trembled, the wildfire inside sending a new wave of anger through his limbs.

“Did you love me?”

Tony moved uncomfortably in his seat, staring at the raindrops running down the glass in front of him, refusing to face the boy.

“Peter-“

“Did. You. Love. Me?”

“Peter, stop it…”

Another wave of red hot rage washed over him, finally drowning his senses.

“LOOK AT ME!” he knew he was yelling, but he didn’t care at this point. “ _Fucking_  look at me!  _Did you love me?!”_

When Tony turned his head to face him, the kid was openly sobbing, his eyes red and his hands closed in tight fists. The older man looked him straight in the eyes with a glance cold enough to make Peter shiver inside.

“No.”

It is said that when one’s faced with a pain so intense that the mind can’t deal with it, the brain just shuts down. The moment the sound of Tony’s voice hit his ears, that’s exactly what Peter felt. His sobbing automatically stopped, he lost all strength on his hands so the fists slowly relaxed, he could no longer feel if the tears were hot or his skin was cold, he couldn’t register the sound of the rain or the smell of the leather seats. He just… stayed there, paralyzed. Empy.

Seconds later, as his mind slowly rebooted, he almost wished he could have that emptiness back. He started to feel a painful sinkhole generating right in the middle of his chest, like his ribcage was being pushed down with the strength of a hundred tons, creating a hole that was going to absorb him.

“Peter, I’m-“

 _That sound_. That sound of his voice was like getting pierced by needles. His body reacted purely on instinct and tried to get him as far away from the source of his pain as it could. He grabbed the backpack that sat between his legs with one hand, opened the car door with the other and when he got out he just… walked. Peter had absolutely no idea where he was going, he just needed to get out of there. He felt the rain hitting his clothes and hair, the water on the ground getting in the cracks of his sneakers and wetting his socks. He couldn’t stop. Maybe if he just kept walking he would manage to stop the growing sinkhole in his chest.

He didn’t turn around when he heard the sound of a car door opening and Tony yelling his name. He closes his eyes tightly. How he hated the sound of his name on the man’s lips now. What a contrast it was to how it made him feel before he found out it had all been a lie. His mind bombarded him with flashes of skin on skin, Tony’s beautiful brown eyes looking down on him, ‘ _I adore you, kid’,_ the man’s experienced lips soft and slow and wet moving over his, a big, strong and calloused hand traveling down his side while they were on the bed and Peter pretended to be asleep.

 _‘I adore you, kid_.’ His cruel mind broadcasted the memory of his voice loudly in his head.

“Peter!”

‘ _I adore you, kid_.’ It played on a loop and he wanted to scream, to cry, to kick something, punch himself, anything to make it stop.

“Peter, please!”

He could still hear the real Tony yelling his name behind him so he ran. He ran as fast as he could, splashing pooled water all over the bottom of his jeans as he did.

Tony stood there in the rain, watching Peter run and knowing he had broken him, maybe forever. He returned to the car and sat there, his clothes soaking wet, the sound of the rain suddenly muffled when he closed the door. He looked at his right were the kid had been just seconds ago and finally… he let go.

He put both hands on the steering wheel, his body contracting over itself from the pain. He rested his forehead on his hands while silent tears fell down his face.

 _‘If you don’t stop this, I will’_ he heard Rhodey’s voice in his head.

The day his best friend found out about him and Peter, he gave him an ultimatum. It was illegal, it was wrong, so either Tony stopped it or he would have to report it. The aunt would probably press charges even if the kid didn’t want her to, he’d be accused of statutory rape, it would be all over the press and even if he didn’t end up in jail, which was more than likely given the huge age difference, both his life and the kid’s would be ruined forever.

Tony thought about being honest with Peter and explaining the situation, but he knew the kid would never give up because he loved him. 

So he did the only thing he could think of that would keep him away for good.

 _‘It’s for the best, Tony.’_ Rhodes had said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s for the best” he muttered to himself in between sobs.

A feeling of blinding pain struck him when he remembered the look of complete betrayal on Peter’s face when he had said ‘no’. He had felt the kid’s heart break right in front of him and it was his fault.

 _Why do you always do this?_ he thought to himself _. Hurting people when the only thing you truly want is to protect them?_

“It’s for the best…”

_The best for who? The kid or you? You’re nothing more than a selfish coward._

“It’s for the best!” Tony yelled through his tears, smashing his fist on the dashboard.

The momentary surge of anger left him quickly, drowned by feelings of guilt and self-loathing.

So just like the raindrops kept smashing on the car, Tony’s tears kept falling. For him and for Peter. For the love they’d had. He cried for the lie he’d had to tell and for being too good at telling it. He cried because Peter had believed him. He cried because he was pretty sure that he’d just lost the only person in his life who had truly, unconditionally loved him with pure, unadulterated devotion. He cried because there was nothing else he could do.


End file.
